In University, I was always afraid.
Afraid of not doing well in my studies. Afraid of failing. Afraid of missing out with friends. Afraid of losing friends. I was afraid of everything.
Growing up, my dad always told me that his university life was the best time of his life. I somehow thought that my life would be like that too. I was then a high school person eager to experience this great life for myself.
Needless to say, I was proven very very wrong.
I spent a lot of time working on assignments. They were bad, I didn’t know what I was doing. I just knew that if I didn’t do something, I was going to fail.
So I kept working on it even if I didn’t know where it would take me. The deadline would come and I knew I still had to submit whatever crappy work I had done.
Because I knew that not submitting anything would actually mean I failed. Submitting something — no matter how crappy — would at least grant me some grade.
This lesson has stuck with me ever since graduating. Before making the decision to blog, I was wrangling with the fear that everyone out there will judge me.
But then recalling the feeling of submitting bad assignments because I had no choice led me to believe that I should treat blogging with the same attitude. The principle that I should be posting articles even if they are crappy. The idea that if I don’t that would mean I actually failed at blogging.
To me, posting still meant that I tried and not posting meant that I gave up.
It’s better to have tried and failed than never tried, you can rest easy knowing you gave it a go. — Katherine Kelly
We mostly fear being judged by others when we think our work is subpar. But I think that true failure is when you gave up. When you don’t post.
I have experienced that fear constantly for 4 years in University and it didn’t feel like it at the time but it is the best lesson that I learned. It’s deeply rooted in me that I should try before giving up because not trying is the true failure.
So give this a try the next time you are afraid of posting/submitting.
Well, it isn’t like I am immune to the fear of failure. I still am. I just fear not trying a lot more. Because it’s better to get a crappy grade than to not be graded at all.
Above all, I can rest easy knowing that I truly tried.
Thanks for reading.